Keys to overcome Sexual Abuse

 Why would God allow this to happen to you? There is no complete or easy answer to this question.  Believers have wrestled with this issue for centuries, and no doubt, you have struggled with this question too.  Why would God allow this to happen to you?  Let's look at what we do know from Scripture.

 
1. God has a reason and purpose for your suffering. 

God allowed Jesus to be abused and suffer a cruel death.  This was allowed for an eternal purpose (Eph. 3:11).  Yet, at the time, the disciples could not understand what possible good would ever come from this cruelty perpetrated on Jesus.  They lost all hope because they couldn't see the ultimate purpose and plan of God.  They viewed the crucifixion of Jesus as a terrible mistake.  Yet, God had a very specific purpose.  John 12:27; Acts 2:23; 1 John 3:8;   

Joseph, in the Old Testament, is another good example (Gen.37-50).  He was abused by his brothers, sold into slavery, framed by a lying lustful woman and thrown into prison.  God allowed these things to occur for many reasons that we will never know.  Yet, we do know some.  God was testing Joseph's faith in His Word (Ps. 105:17-19).  God also wanted to reveal Himself to the Pharaoh and his princes (Ps. 105:20-22). Joseph's brothers meant it all for evil, but God turned it all around for good, to ultimately save the children of Israel from a famine (Gen. 50:20).  Notice, that God's purposes went beyond the life of Joseph.  God had a purpose to accomplish in Pharaoh, his princes, Joseph's brothers, and the nation Israel.

2. God can take the evil done to you and turn it around for good in your life. 

The suffering and abuse which you have endured is also for a purpose.  It is obviously much easier to see God's purpose with Jesus or Joseph because it is explained in God's Word.  You probably can't see now what possible good would ever come from this abuse.  However, God promises to take all things, even evil things, and turn them around for good (Rom. 8:28).  Consider some of these Biblical purposes:

a. Suffering causes you to commit your soul to God (1 Peter 4:19) (Heb. 5:7).  Possibly, this abuse was what lead you to give your life to Christ

 b. Suffering gives personal insight that enables you to comfort others who are suffering (2 Cor. 1:3-5). Possibly, God will want to use you to minister to another who has experienced similar abuse.

 c. Suffering enables you to learn things about yourself and the world you live in (Heb. 5:8-9).

3. God doesn't always explain the "whys" of suffering. 

The main reason why God doesn't try to explain everything is because of man's limited capacity to understand.  Man is finite in his understanding, yet God is an infinite Being, with infinite wisdom and understanding.  "Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite" (Ps. 147:5).  Unless God reveals the reasons for a particular action, "His ways are past finding out"  (Rom. 11:33).  Today we know only partially; we understand and think as children. Yet, one day we will see God face to face and will know and understand as He does (1 Cor. 13:11-12).  Therefore, to fully understand why this abuse was allowed in your life, you would need knowledge only God possesses.  You would need to be able to see right now, in one large panorama, God's past and future purposes in your life and all who had contact with, or knowledge of, this abuse.  This is, of course, impossible.  This is the primary reason why God doesn't try to answer our entire why questions.  Remember the suffering of Joseph.  Here are some examples of how God dealt with the questions of men regarding, what they considered unjust situations. 

David also struggled with similar issues in Psalm 10. David questioned why God didn't stop all the evil done against the poor and helpless.  Yet, again God did not tell him why. David said Lord, "You have seen it, for You observe trouble and grief, to repay...You are the helper of the fatherless...You have heard the desire of the humble...to do justice to the Fatherless and the oppressed" You must rest in the fact that God saw what was done to you, and will in justice hold this person accountable because God is just.  God will help you and will hear your cry to Him. Rest in this truth, not in trying to understand all the whys.

The disciples saw a blind man one day.  He had been blind from birth, and they became very curious as to the cause of this suffering.  They asked if this was caused by the sin of the man or the sin of his parents.  Jesus said, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in Him" (John 9:1-3).  Notice first, that Jesus answered their specific question. Sin was not the cause of this particular suffering and ailment.  However, Jesus did not explain why this was allowed to occur.  Jesus only gave a general purpose, "That the works of God should be revealed in him."  This is God's ultimate purpose for all difficult and trying circumstances in life.  He wants to reveal Himself and work a perfect work in that person.  According to James, this is the ultimate purpose of all trials.  He declared that trials produce maturity in your life (James 1:2-4)

 
4. God's love cannot and will not ever force people to do good.
When a person asks, "Why didn't God stop this abuse and suffering?", in reality, they are asking God to stop the world.  This would be the only way to stop evil and suffering.  People hurt and abuse others because they are in rebellion against God’s command to love the Lord and to love their neighbor.  This is the most basic reason why people abuse others.  To stop someone from abusing you, God would have to force this individual to love and obey Him. To force a person to any action would be contrary to God's nature of love.  God has declared that men must willingly choose to personally receive Him (John 1:12) (John 5:40). Therefore, God's love cannot, and will not, force anyone to believe and obey.  It is not that God is unable to stop abuse and suffering, but if He did, He would be violating His own nature of love by forcing men to do good.  One day, God speaks of stopping all the evil and suffering in this world.  How will He do this? He will stop the world, as we know it.  He will come and set up His kingdom upon the earth and "The Son of Man will send out His angels, and they will gather out of His kingdom all things that offend and those who practice lawlessness” ( Matt 13:41)

5. Rest in what you know to be true. 

 a. God loves you very much.  He proved His love by coming to take your punishment and judgment (John 3:16) (Rom. 8:31-32). If He loves you this much and was willing to suffer for you to this extent, how could you ever think that He could be in any way responsible for your abuse.  The truth is, that a sinful individual who was in rebellion against God was responsible for your abuse, not God.

 b. God is all-wise and all-knowing.  God knows all that has occurred to you in the past.  He knows why this abuse occurred, and what He is seeking to work out in your life.  He waits for you to come to Him so He can strengthen and heal your broken heart.  Jesus said that He came "to heal the brokenhearted" (Luke 4:18). His promise includes your broken heart.  As the Great Physician, He knows how to heal your wounded heart and give you to grace to make you a stronger person (Heb. 4:16).  You must commit yourself into His able and knowledgeable hand and allow Him to do it.

 c. God turns evil around for good.  This is God's promise for every believer which includes you (Rom. 8:28).  He is able to turn this evil around for good in your life.  All He requires of you is to come to Him in prayer and yield yourself to Him.  Obey Him completely.  Trust Him to turn your life around; He will not fail.  You do your part, and He will do His part.