As a person you would one day face one of the following situations.
a. People will criticize you.
b. People will falsely accuse
you.
c. People will second-guess your
decisions.
d. People will impute motives
that aren't there.
This
is not easy and it will never be easy. Then how do you overcome it. Here are
three great truths which will help you over come offense.
Offenses are Inevitable.
Jesus said,
Jesus said,
Woe
to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man
by whom the offense comes!
(Matthew 18:7)
Jesus
also notes, offenses must come. People offend us by what they do (sins
of commission) and, sometimes, by what they don't do (sins of omission). Either
way, life affords us daily opportunities to be offended.
Note
that while offenses may be inevitable, Jesus doesn't let the offender off the
hook. They, too, are accountable and will experience their own level of woe.
Offense can be Good for you.
This is a hard saying. In the midst of being offended, it is difficult to
believe that any good could come out of it, let alone that God might have a
bigger purpose in mind. But consider two examples from the Bible.
The patriarch Joseph was ridiculed, kidnapped, and then sold into slavery by
his own brothers. He was later falsely accused of attempting to seduce the wife
of a high-ranking Egyptian official. He spent several years in prison, and it
was years before he was vindicated.
He could have been very angry with his brothers. Years later, when he
finally meets up with them again, he is in a position of tremendous power. He
could easily have had his revenge. Instead, Joseph said to them,
Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you
meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as
it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I
will provide for you and your little ones. (Genesis 50:19–20)
King David in the latter part of his life, he was chased out of
Jerusalem by his treasonous son, Absalom. If that weren't bad enough, a
character named Shimei meets him on the road and starts throwing rocks at him.
He curses the king and reminds him of all his sins. He says,
Come out! Come out! You bloodthirsty man, you rogue! The LORD has
brought upon you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have
reigned; and the LORD has delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom your
son. So now you are caught in your own evil, because you are a bloodthirsty man!
(2 Samuel 16:7–8)
It's easy to resent those who offend us. But what if God has a deep and
important purpose for sending them—something that He intends for our good
because He truly loves us Romans 8:28
Being offended is a Choice.
The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to
overlook a transgression. (Proverbs 19:11)
Paul says, "Be angry, and do not sin." (Ephesians 4:26) Anger can be
a valid response to something that is wrong. But it can quickly become
toxic—not only for those to whom we direct it but also for ourselves. James admonishes us to be "slow to anger." (James
1:19–20)
Overcoming Offense:
1. Reposition Yourself.
Many problems in your life may not be solved but you just need to simply outgrow them in God. Problems remain. But your perspective, your authority, your strategies, your love and most of all prayer, repositions you above the situation. Imagine what would happen if your president had to respond to all the negativity out there. He’d die trying to live to everyone’s opinion. Make it your goal to, in all love, outgrow your problem. Take these issues as your lessons to learn in life.
2. Forgive.
Jesus Himself said, “offenses must come” Matt. 18:7 and Jesus himself reminded us to forgive, “seventy times seven.” Matt. 18:22 Here I am talking about two levels of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a sign of a successful leader. Forgive and release that person completely. Don’t seek revenge. Pardon them and release them unconditionally.
Secondly, forgive yourself. Yes, do not hold it against yourself that you could not live up to the expectations of your boss, your friend, your pastor, uncle or aunt. You are what God says you are, therefore you are accepted by God, that settles it! With this you can overcome every resentment. Be happy to be you.
3. Step up Intentionally.
If hurt comes from someone you cannot avoid, be mentally prepared and rooted in the Word of God to not allow their words have any effect on you. I would strongly recommend that you confront them rather than keep it in your heart. Learn to take it easy and let go.
If it is any other person, be sure to prioritize your life by knowing who are the people that you want to associate with. Remember to be humble and kind yet intentional in your associations. God can use these situations for our upliftment.
4. Speak Positively.
When it comes to communicating, words are everything. What we sow is what we reap. When someone is coming at you with you with words that are harmful, don’t become like them. Especially when you are upset and are under pressure, beware of what comes from your mouth. Don’t rush to email them out of your anger. (And, stay away from updating your status anywhere) Ask the Lord to help you to guard your mouth from saying things that you can never take back.
5. Step up in Prayer.
Most of the time, we forget this fact that an attack on your heart is to get you off track with your walk with the Lord. And let our words be wholesome and uplifting. A broken heart is a quenched spirit. Your most wise decision at this moment would be to run into His presence. There in His presence true forgiveness is born.
If you have someone who can share your hurt and pray with you then that is an additional blessing. Even otherwise your ever present help Jesus is with you.
Now that being said, take some time today to intentionally guard your heart and to sow some goodness today.
Many problems in your life may not be solved but you just need to simply outgrow them in God. Problems remain. But your perspective, your authority, your strategies, your love and most of all prayer, repositions you above the situation. Imagine what would happen if your president had to respond to all the negativity out there. He’d die trying to live to everyone’s opinion. Make it your goal to, in all love, outgrow your problem. Take these issues as your lessons to learn in life.
2. Forgive.
Jesus Himself said, “offenses must come” Matt. 18:7 and Jesus himself reminded us to forgive, “seventy times seven.” Matt. 18:22 Here I am talking about two levels of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a sign of a successful leader. Forgive and release that person completely. Don’t seek revenge. Pardon them and release them unconditionally.
Secondly, forgive yourself. Yes, do not hold it against yourself that you could not live up to the expectations of your boss, your friend, your pastor, uncle or aunt. You are what God says you are, therefore you are accepted by God, that settles it! With this you can overcome every resentment. Be happy to be you.
3. Step up Intentionally.
If hurt comes from someone you cannot avoid, be mentally prepared and rooted in the Word of God to not allow their words have any effect on you. I would strongly recommend that you confront them rather than keep it in your heart. Learn to take it easy and let go.
If it is any other person, be sure to prioritize your life by knowing who are the people that you want to associate with. Remember to be humble and kind yet intentional in your associations. God can use these situations for our upliftment.
4. Speak Positively.
When it comes to communicating, words are everything. What we sow is what we reap. When someone is coming at you with you with words that are harmful, don’t become like them. Especially when you are upset and are under pressure, beware of what comes from your mouth. Don’t rush to email them out of your anger. (And, stay away from updating your status anywhere) Ask the Lord to help you to guard your mouth from saying things that you can never take back.
5. Step up in Prayer.
Most of the time, we forget this fact that an attack on your heart is to get you off track with your walk with the Lord. And let our words be wholesome and uplifting. A broken heart is a quenched spirit. Your most wise decision at this moment would be to run into His presence. There in His presence true forgiveness is born.
If you have someone who can share your hurt and pray with you then that is an additional blessing. Even otherwise your ever present help Jesus is with you.
Now that being said, take some time today to intentionally guard your heart and to sow some goodness today.
The greatest people are not easily offended. Instead, they practice the
habit of overlooking offenses. They take the high road, give the offender the
benefit of the doubt, and move on.
What about you?
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