Keys to Overcome Loneliness

Jesus came to set you free from loneliness. You no longer need to feel unloved, misunderstood, alone, or without close fellowship. Jesus came to restore the most important relationship in your life—your relationship with God—and to enable you to have close, meaningful relationships with others

Differentiate between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness is when you are unhappy to be alone. Solitude is when you are happy to be alone. You're not in solitude when you want to be with people. There are people out there who you can relate to and become close with.

1. Cultivate a strong relationship with God

At some points in our lives, we all feel alone, misunderstood, and vulnerable. During those times, we need someone to be with us, understand our heart, and give us encouragement and strength. The Bible says that God does all these things for us—He is always with us, knows us better than we know our selves, and encourages and strengthens us. He is our best companion. King David had a very good friend in Jonathan, who supported and encouraged David during the most difficult time in David’s life. When Jonathan was killed in a battle with the Philistines, David must have felt very lonely. However, David had a close relationship with God and was able to draw strength from that relationship. When you read through the Psalms that David wrote, they all talk about David’s close relationship with God. They are an excellent example of the type of relationship we should have with

 

2. Control your thoughts and attitudes

When we feel alone and isolated from others, we are an easy target for the devil. Satan will come to us when we are vulnerable and try to drag us down with all kinds of lies and destructive thoughts. In John 8:44, Jesus said that when the devil lies, he speaks his native language. We should learn to recognize and refuse to listen to the lies of the devil. Satan wants us to feel lonely and miserable. He will tell us that no one understands or cares about us, or encourage us to think negatively about other people. Satan’s goal is to keep us from connecting with others and receiving godly encouragement.

3. Challenge yourself in meeting other people’s needs

Ask any fisherman, and he’ll tell you that you need the right bait to catch fish. In the same way, if we are caring and sincere people, then we will naturally attract caring and sincere friends. The great news is that as we mature as Christians, we learn to be more like Jesus —the most caring and sincere friend ever. Don't wait for people to approach you.

Philippians 2:3-7   Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than you. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

If you want to develop close, meaningful relationships with others, we need to be more like Jesus. We need to think of others’ interests, not only our own. Ask God to give you a genuine concern for others, and wisdom to know how to demonstrate that concern.

4. Devote yourself to church fellowship

Loneliness is something that should be rare in God’s church. Acts 2:42 says believers in the early church devoted themselves to fellowship. Today, things should be no different. The church is still Christians’ spiritual family, and we are all to regard each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. The church is not just a place where people with similar interests or backgrounds gather—it is the family of God, made up of diverse people who love Jesus. Believe it or not, but you have more shared interests with people in the church than with anyone else outside the church. 

Even if you feel there is no one in church who can be your friend, I urge you to devote yourself to the church fellowship because that is where your spiritual family is. In the end, if we believe the words of Jesus, we ought to stand with our brothers and sisters in the church until the end. In old times, travelers built fires when lying down at night. Lions would prowl around in the dark outside the camp, waiting for someone to come out. 

1 Peter 5:8 The devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. If we run away from the church fellowship, we become an easy target for the devil. Commit yourself to the fellowship and stick close to your brothers and sisters.

 5. Spend time with your family.

Even if you don't have a great history with a family member, chances are they will take you up on an invitation. You can share friends and meet new people together. This will help diminish that awkward feeling of being alone in public. Don't allow yourself to wallow. Instead of persistently dwelling on how alone you feel, do anything to get your mind off it. 

6. Do Charitable work.

Many times it isn't the partner or friend you are missing, but the activities and hobbies you shared. Take yourself out for a date. For example, if you would have gone out to dinner or to a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or to a nice restaurant. Don't hold yourself back. It is not strange to be by yourself and out doing things!

7. Have a pleasant presence.

Draw people toward yourself by providing enjoyable company. Be complimentary rather than critical. For a casual comment, don't nitpick other people's clothes, habits or hair. They don't need to be reminded they have a small stain on their shirt when they can't do anything about it. They do need to hear that you think their sweater is cool or you read their article. Don't make a big deal of it, but just casually mention it when you like something. This is one of the best ice-breakers around and it builds trust steadily over time as people come to understand that you won't criticize them.

 

Loneliness is a serious problem that impacts everyone at different times. We all have a deep longing for sincere, close relationships with other people because God created us that way. It is natural to desire meaningful relationships with others. Don’t feel that you are the only one that deals with this issue—even Adam in the Garden of Eden needed another person to be with him. In order to overcome loneliness, we need to cultivate a closer relationship with God, who will always be our best friend. Friendship with God is like a massive rock in our social lives. When we stand on that rock, we are socially and emotionally secure. That foundation allows us to relate to others with confidence, not with desperation. As we become closer to God, the Holy Spirit will also develop us into better friends to others.