Bitterness is known in the Bible as spiritual poison and a means by which many are defiled (Hebrews 12:15). It is the source of countless spiritual and physical problems in millions of lives today. The Bible tells us that MANY are defiled by the means of bitterness. Bitterness can be tricky to recognize because it's not a symptom or visible on the surface like anger usually is. Many claim that they aren't an angry or hateful person, but that's not what bitterness is all about. Bitterness is an underlying problem that doesn't always manifest on the outside, but dwells in that person's system.
Bitterness is a root!
Hebrews
12:15, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any
root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be
defiled."
Forgiveness
can change your life.
Forgiveness
does not mean you erase the past. It doesn’t even mean the other person will
change his behavior — you cannot control that. They are responsible for their
actions and you are only responsible for yours. Forgiveness means that you are
letting go of the anger and pain, and moving onto a better place. It’s not
easy. But you can learn to do it.
There
are three kindred spirits of the human heart – Giving, Forgiving and Thanksgiving.
Usually,
where you find one, you will find the others.
“For You, Lord, are good, and ready to
forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.”
“Forgiveness
is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me!”
Remember,
people are not your enemies, Satan is your enemy, he just uses people to hurt
other people. But God can bring good out of the situation - He is in control.
"It
takes a lot of courage to forgive someone - but it takes even more courage to
ask for forgiveness!"
God
does not want us walking around carrying hate, bitterness and unforgiveness in
our hearts. So how can we tell if we have forgiven the person who has hurt us?
Give yourself the
“Have
I really forgiven my offender” – Test.
- Do I secretly rejoice when I hear they are having problems/misfortune?
- Do I avoid the person on purpose?
- Do I speak to the person only when something like a chance meeting happens?
- Do I constantly think about the wrong committed?
- Do I ever sit in silence and meditate and brood over the wrong done me?
- Do I hesitate to pray for the person?
1) Release your hurts and commit yourself to God.
You
aren’t going to do it in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time
to get over something. So commit to changing, because you recognize that the
pain is hurting you.
2)
Think about the pros and cons.
What
problems does this pain cause you?
Does
it affect your relationship with this person?
Does
it affect work or family?
Does
it stop you from pursuing your dreams, or becoming a better person?
Does
it cause you unhappiness?
3)
Realize you have a choice
You
cannot control the actions of others, and shouldn’t try. But you can control
not only your actions, but your thoughts. You can stop reliving the hurt, and
can choose to move on. You have this power. You just need to learn how to
exercise it.
4)
Focus on the present
Now
that you’ve reflected on the past, realize that the past is over. It isn’t
happening anymore, except in your mind. And that causes problems — unhappiness
and stress. Instead, bring your focus back to the present moment.
What
are you doing now?
What
joy can you find in what is happening right now?
Find
the joy in life now, as it happens, and stop reliving the past.
Sooner
or later, you will start thinking about the past, but just acknowledge that,
and gently bring yourself back to the present moment.
5) Pray for the person who has caused you hurt
Offenses are
the devil’s trap to draw you into bitterness, resentment, and finally Unforgiveness.
If you find
yourself growing angry at someone, pray for them - anger cannot live in an
atmosphere of prayer.
6)
Request God to enter your life
and give you Peace
Release
the pain and the past to God. Let peace enter your life. And go forward,
thinking no longer of the past, but of peace and the present. (P
“Be
anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,
let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all
understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus”).
7)
Release Forgiveness
Finally,
forgive the person and realize that in forgiveness, you are allowing yourself
to be happy and move on. Feel empathy for the person and wish happiness on
them. Let love for them, and life in general, grow in your heart. It may take
time, but with God’s help, you will get there.
The
key to forgiveness is to maintain your own relationship with God.
Implement
the great value of the three F's -
Forgive, Forget, and Forge ahead
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